How to get the job you want

OMG you guys your therapist wanted to interview ME instead of the other way around bc ppl hire me to help them find jobs and write their resume and do mock interviews and I'm really friggin good at helping people land their dream jobs and Ash wanted to talk to ME about it because apparently she talks to her clients all the time about how to find jobs so this time I'M THE EXPERT OMG i'm blushing come check it out i get HYPED UP on this sh*t